What my neurodivergent mind has taught me
All my life, I have felt like my brain worked differently from everyone around me. When others think about ADHD, they think of a frantic person who can’t sit still or keep a steady conversation. For myself, ADHD allows me to open my mind to new ideas, have multiple hobbies, and learn a whole new side to creativity. For me, ADHD has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Growing up, I often felt like I was working twice as hard to accomplish the same things as everyone else. Assignments took longer, studying felt overwhelming, and simple tasks could turn into hours of frustration. What many people didn’t see were the constant mental battles happening behind the scenes.
My ADHD has shown me how to evolve my sporadic ideas into full plans and actions. But it is never easy for me to complete a project, with a constant flow of new thoughts, there is always something in the back of my mind, sometimes leaving me feeling limited and frustrated. At the same time, ADHD has also shaped some of my greatest strengths. It has taught me resilience, creativity, adaptability, and how to think outside the box. The same brain that struggles with organization can also generate countless ideas and see connections that others might miss.
The more I share my experience with ADHD, the more I realise all that it has pushed me to accomplish. Without my constant strain of thoughts, I would have never pushed myself to grow in my pageant journey, move to new states and bigger cities, and put myself out there in my career goals. My ADHD has gone from feeling like one of my biggest weaknesses to being my largest success story. As I grow in my career and do more outreach for neurodivergence awareness, I have taught others about the importance of an ADHD mind, how to use it to your advantage, and why neurodivergent people bring creativity to our world. Most importantly, I have shown myself that something that I used to be ashamed of is the reason I am able to dream big and achieve the dreams I have worked towards my whole life.
All my life, I have felt like my brain worked differently from everyone around me. When others think about ADHD, they think of a frantic person who can’t sit still or keep a steady conversation. For myself, ADHD allows me to open my mind to new ideas, have multiple hobbies, and learn a whole new side to creativity. For me, ADHD has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. Growing up, I often felt like I was working twice as hard to accomplish the same things as everyone else. Assignments took longer, studying felt overwhelming, and simple tasks could turn into hours of frustration. What many people didn’t see were the constant mental battles happening behind the scenes.
My ADHD has shown me how to evolve my sporadic ideas into full plans and actions. But it is never easy for me to complete a project, with a constant flow of new thoughts, there is always something in the back of my mind, sometimes leaving me feeling limited and frustrated. At the same time, ADHD has also shaped some of my greatest strengths. It has taught me resilience, creativity, adaptability, and how to think outside the box. The same brain that struggles with organization can also generate countless ideas and see connections that others might miss.
The more I share my experience with ADHD, the more I realise all that it has pushed me to accomplish. Without my constant strain of thoughts, I would have never pushed myself to grow in my pageant journey, move to new states and bigger cities, and put myself out there in my career goals. My ADHD has gone from feeling like one of my biggest weaknesses to being my largest success story. As I grow in my career and do more outreach for neurodivergence awareness, I have taught others about the importance of an ADHD mind, how to use it to your advantage, and why neurodivergent people bring creativity to our world. Most importantly, I have shown myself that something that I used to be ashamed of is the reason I am able to dream big and achieve the dreams I have worked towards my whole life.
What’s Next?
One of the most common questions I’ve been getting recently is “so what’s your plan?” and “what’s next?” Who would’ve thought that those six words would scare every nerve in my body? As I even type this blog post, all of my thoughts for the past 48 hours have been about what my next move is in school and after graduation. But this has not been only me thinking this, but all of my friends have also been thinking the same thing. The biggest fear for most people approaching the end of their college career is that there are no guarantees in the job market. So many students work tirelessly while taking classes on building connections and gaining experience in their respective fields, but for most, that does not guarantee a job.
Graduation is supposed to feel like a finish line, but lately it feels more like standing at the edge of a huge cliff, not knowing if I have a parashoote attached. I feel like I have every opportunity available to myself, but nothing at the same time. Graduating is the end of one of the longest eras of my life, my schooling years, but I see it as a time when my life starts over. There’s this shared pressure that comes with nearing the end of college, the idea that we’re supposed to have everything figured out by now, when in reality, so many of us are still trying to piece it together.till, I’m starting to realize that maybe that’s the point. Maybe not knowing is part of the process. Graduating isn’t just the end of one of the longest eras of my life; it's also the beginning of what I've been working towards for over twenty years.
The truth is, I still don't have all the answers, and that's okay. While the question "What's next?" continues to linger in the back of my mind, I've realized that not having every detail figured out doesn't mean I'm falling behind. It means I'm growing, exploring, and learning what path is right for me. As graduation gets closer, the uncertainty can be intimidating, but it can also be exciting. For now, I'm choosing to trust the process, embrace the opportunities that come my way, and remember that some of the best chapters of our lives begin with not knowing exactly how the story will unfold.
Take A Break
I’ve been competing in pageants for over ten years. Knowing I needed to take a break from competing in pageants was one of the hardest decisions I’ve made. Now that I am in one of the most pivotal times of my life, deciding what to do after graduation, recently aging into the “Miss” division in competition, and gradually growing into my adulthood, my priorities are always fluctuating. Finding that balance between work, education, social life, and pageant preparation has never been easy. A couple of months ago, I was asked a question, “What are some of your smaller hobbies?” and for about ten seconds, I thought to myself about what makes me, Emilia. The only thing I could think of was competing and pageant preparation, and without that, I didn’t know who I was. The issue is, I know pageants aren’t my forever hobby, I age out of competing at 28. Taking this most recent competition season off from competing gave me the opportunity to grow in my career, gain connections, become closer to my new friends in college, spend more time at home, and figure out who I want to be and the impact I want to make. Although this time off was much needed, it also made me realize how much I love the training, community service, competition, and being a part of a pronominal group of women. I can’t wait to return to the stage this coming season, knowing exactly who I am stepping into the interviews and on that stage.
I’ve been competing in pageants for over ten years. Knowing I needed to take a break from competing in pageants was one of the hardest decisions I’ve made. Now that I am in one of the most pivotal times of my life, deciding what to do after graduation, recently aging into the “Miss” division in competition, and gradually growing into my adulthood, my priorities are always fluctuating. Finding that balance between work, education, social life, and pageant preparation has never been easy. A couple of months ago, I was asked a question, “What are some of your smaller hobbies?” and for about ten seconds, I thought to myself about what makes me, Emilia. The only thing I could think of was competing and pageant preparation, and without that, I didn’t know who I was. The issue is, I know pageants aren’t my forever hobby, I age out of competing at 28.
Taking this most recent competition season off from competing gave me the opportunity to grow in my career, gain connections, become closer to my new friends in college, spend more time at home, and figure out who I want to be and the impact I want to make. Although this time off was much needed, it also made me realize how much I love the training, community service, competition, and being a part of a pronominal group of women. I can’t wait to return to the stage this coming season, knowing exactly who I am stepping into the interviews and on that stage. This past season has taught me that taking a step back does not mean that I have given up. Taking a break has shown me why I fell in love with competing, not to get a shiny crown or tell people about my success, but to share my story with others and encourage them to go for their dreams. During my time away, I was able to invest in experiences that challenged me in new ways. I focused on my professional development, built meaningful relationships, and discovered strengths outside of the pageant world. For the first time in years, I wasn't constantly thinking about the next competition.
As controversial as it may sound, winning a pageant is never an end goal, but a portion of my life that shapes the trajectory of my future. Before this past year, I had no idea what was next for myself, but after temporarily removing the stress of competition preparation, I was able to focus on my future career and set it into motion. One of the greatest lessons I learned is that our identities should never be tied to just one accomplishment, hobby, or role. We are constantly evolving, especially during our college years and early adulthood. This has reminded me that the qualities that pageantry teaches young women, like determination, leadership, resilience, interview skills, public speaking, and communal outreach, are qualities that I carry with me whether I'm up on that stage or not.
Ring Before Spring
As I’m coming into my senior year this fall, there seems to be one thing running through almost all of my friends’ minds, but not mine. While it’s a sweet and catchy sentiment, “ring before spring”, couldn’t be further from what I want post graduation. Growing up in a smaller Southern town, my Instagram feed has been overtaken by proposal announcements and wedding photos. Although getting married in my early twenties has never been my goal, seeing these posts has made me wonder at times if I’m “behind.” Now that I’m out of the confining areas of Augusta, Georgia, my new, beautifully diverse Florida city has me feeling like I’m right where I need to be in life.
As I’m coming into my senior year this fall, there seems to be one thing running through almost all of my friends’ minds, but not mine. While it’s a sweet and catchy sentiment, “ring before spring”, couldn’t be further from what I want post graduation. Growing up in a smaller Southern town, my Instagram feed has been overtaken by proposal announcements and wedding photos. Although getting married in my early twenties has never been my goal, seeing these posts has made me wonder at times if I’m “behind.” Now that I’m out of the confining areas of Augusta, Georgia, my new, beautifully diverse Florida city has me feeling like I’m right where I need to be in life.